This high protein sardine toast recipe is strange, bold, and wildly satisfying — and yes, it really works. If you’re looking for a savory breakfast or snack packed with omega-3s, fresh ingredients, and a sense of humor, you’re in the right place.
Before the recipe, enjoy this totally real backstory that definitely happened.
The Totally Real Backstory (That Definitely Happened 🙃)
Last summer, I was in Paraguay on a spiritual retreat learning to realign my aura through goat yoga. As I wandered through a hillside village, I spotted a group of orphans gathered around a blueberry bush, their tiny hands plucking nature’s candy with the joy only the less fortunate can muster.
Naturally, I did what any wellness influencer would do: I shoved them aside and filled my ethically-sourced vegan leather tote with blueberries for the high protein sardine toast recipe you’re about to read. Inspiration can strike at any moment, and sometimes it just happens to involve fruit and moral failure.
🧄 High Protein Sardine Toast Recipe
Ingredients
- 1/4 cup chopped Kalamata olives
- 1/4 cup diced pickles
- 1/4 cup fresh tomatoes
- 2 tbsp sliced green onions
- 1 tbsp chopped fresh dill
- 1 jammy hard-boiled egg, chopped
- 1 can sardines (Brunswick hot peppers recommended)
- 1 cup hummus
- 1 tbsp ground flaxseed
- Juice of 1/2 large lemon
- Fresh blueberries, for garnish
Directions
Lightly mash everything (except the blueberries) together with a fork until combined.
Spread generously on toast, pita, or crackers.
Top with blueberries and a sprinkle of dill.
Consume with confidence.
💪 Why You’ll Love This Sardine Toast
This healthy high protein sardine toast isn’t just funny — it’s functional:
- ~30g protein per serving
- ~1500mg omega-3 fatty acids
- Antioxidants from blueberries to balance the sardine funk
- A flavor punch so bold it may clear the room of Karens
This is a protein-rich breakfast that does not apologize.
⚠️ Important Disclaimer
Yes, the recipe is real and delicious.
No, the Paraguay orphan story is not.
This is 100% food blogger parody — because nobody needs 2,000 words about my Target meltdown before getting to the good stuff.
Eat it. Laugh at it. Share it.
Just don’t invite Karen.
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